Loving the Idea, But Not the Reality!

This one’s for you, sis.

Yes—you. The one who says she wants a relationship but secretly loves the freedom of being single. The one who’s “dating to marry,” but ends up in situationships with emotionally unavailable men.

You’re picky with your standards, and rightfully so. Yet somehow, you keep picking wrong.

You crave consistency, but your heart entertains confusion. You want love, but fear being seen too deeply. You get butterflies for the emotionally distant because the chase feels familiar. The chaos feels like home—but baby, that ain’t love. That’s trauma in disguise.

Here’s the truth:

You’re not confused. You’re just torn between the woman you’re becoming and the one who used to settle.

But sis, healing will make you picky. Don’t apologize for wanting intentional love. Just don’t fall for chemistry that lacks character.

The Word says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” — Proverbs 4:23

Guard it not with walls, but with wisdom. Guard it from patterns disguised as preferences.

Here’s your permission slip:

Let go of the emotionally unavailable. Let go of the idea of love that only shows up broken. Let go of the thought that your standards are too high.

They’re not. You’re just finally seeing clearly.

Prayer:

God, help me to desire what’s healthy, not just what’s familiar. Heal every broken place in me that still sees dysfunction as love. Give me clarity, patience, and strength to wait for the one You’ve prepared, and the wisdom to walk away from the one You haven’t.

Amen.